Total Pageviews

Sunday, 7 August 2011

SUmmEr 2011

It’s been over 19 years since I’ve set foot on this planet full of species that want to survive; survive beyond the perpetual state of utter turmoil that he/she has to sail through right till their final breathe. Now, I don’t want to give the readers a pessimistic approach to life but no matter how big an optimist you are, your brain has to go through a stream of these negative thoughts. The only difference is that an optimist somehow manages to pat his own back and say “Dude!!!  You rock!! Keep rocking!!”
HELL NOO!!! May be I am deviating too much from the topic but yes, the first paragraph will, in some or the other manner be related to the forthcoming content!
So, it’s been 19 years since I am efficiently utilising the oxygen content on this planet earth. But I have no shame in telling that it took me 19 years and a few months to actually realise that, “Alright!! All these yrs, I’ve been nothing but a useless lump of flesh!!”

Sounds harsh right??!
But trust me it’s worth the magnitude.
For once I made my brain exercise and think how many people in our country are actually working for the upliftment of the society in which they thrive? The answer to this question is grim yet true. The count of people who help the country in paving the road to supremacy is way lesser than the ones who are busy hogging over the resources provided by the docile soil of our nation.

I, sadly happen to fall in the 2nd lot. At first, the neurons in my head were totally reluctant in absorbing the negative data input but sooner or later it had to comply with the truth. This was when I realised that the even the food that I eat was not for free. I spoke to myself, “I need to do something substantial enough in order to earn my bread successfully”.That, night I barely slept for an hour and the following morning breakfast was the most difficult one to swallow.
Every bite of the freshly mad sandwich made me feel as if I am taking some kind of loan from RBI. If you are thinking RBI to be the reserve bank of India then you’re unfortunately mistaken! According to the context it stands for “THE RESOURCE BANK OF INDIA”.
Every sip of the hot coffee that I drank felt like I was sipping in molten lava.
Alright!! May be I am exaggerating stuffs but yeah! The coffee was a lot hotter than usual that day.
As the day passed, the circumstances grew more and more surreal and the ambience became all the more gloomy .I wanted to do something that could grab the least of recognition so that I could grab a drink and say to myself, “GOOD JOB DUDE!! I AM PROUD OF YOU!! “ .
Last winter, I had applied for summer internship in DRDO Delhi hoping to get appointed as an intern at one of the esteemed R and D labs out there. Chances were low but god knows how I got the call letter saying that I’d got selected.(P.S- Oops I am  Agnostic). Destiny suddenly seemed to favour me more than ever. The bold letter head that had the ‘ever sexy’ emblem of DRDO (p.s- pardon my language) made me rise up above all my gloomy being and this very instance made me bridle about my achievement. It was one of the rare moments in my life when I wanted to call up all my fellows and acquaintances and brag about me getting into the elite institute. Apart from all these, the only thought hovering my brain was, “maybe things are gonna get better  :p “ .

And much to my surprise things fairly turned out that way (leaving aside the untimely migraine attacks that tried to keep me at bay throughout the summer).
There are a few words in the English dictionary that do not perfectly portray my first day experience but at least get close to describing it. They are “disastrous, horrid etc etc etc” it took me 3 hours to actually spot the location of my dream institute which, to me, seemed to help me take a temporary refuge from the hardships of the capital city- the concrete jungle. No offense intended to the DTC and DMRC but the service provided by these ‘elite’ government organisations surely added salt and pepper to my plight.

Once I entered the campus, the seemingly endless security check protocol followed by ‘god knows what’ types of scanning sessions completely sucked the residual amount of energy in me. To add to this, my mobile phone got confiscated by the security officials who seemed no less than demons at that point of time. This would be funny to mention but this torturous sequence which had to be performed daily convincingly made me feel like a terrorist!!
But after I entered the campus I forgot all the harassment and had no other option but to gaze all over with my mouth wide open. It had that awe factor on it. Yet again, I am not exaggerating but I wouldn’t even have remotely reacted in this manner had I seen Cameron Diaz instead (who apparently happens to be my favourite from the tinsel town). I had to report to my project head by 11:00 am but the sound of the birds chirping that drives away the melancholy within you, huge labs and equipments, platoons marching along the road and Mr. Kapil Sibal walking past you could easily make one forget an appointment.

But then my conscience poked me from within and I went to get acquainted with my group head. Much to my surprise, I wasn’t jolted or flooded with words of anger and embarrassment but was gracefully welcomed by the department with a cup of coffee and biscuits *yum yum*. This gesture of theirs invoked an uncanny sense of professionalism in me. Mainly because this was so different form my college where I would be literally tormented by my HOD and would be shooed away from the class for being late. For the first time I felt smart playing a truant.

But little did I know that this warm welcome would be followed by endless hours of coding, torturous brainstorming seminars, untimely meetings with the board of directors and stamina sucking night-outs that would aptly define June 2011 for me.

Breaking my threshold, I had to work 12 hours a day like a Cyborg and then the code snippets and the problem statements would haunt my dreams at night as well. At that point of time I would rather love to get spooked by the scariest of the nightmares that I ever had instead of words like ‘hdb3, baudot encoder, zilog , verilog, sitor, g-tor, etc etc etc. barricade the dreams about me and my girlfriend making love (alright !! I am not that big a pervert).
But the very fact that I was working for the company I’d once dreamt of and that this was the beginning of my establishment as a professional subdued all the dismay.

After 8-10 weeks of seemingly eternal coding spree, the time had arrived when I had to mark the end to this magical voyage of mine with a presentation of my work in front of all the board of directors of the respective labs at DRDO, Delhi.

The presentation to the best of my perception was fabulous :D..
You would feel no less than a duke when the director in chief walks up to you solemnly and says, “Good job gentleman ….. We look forward to receiving more of your assistance next summer. I am personally delighted by seeing your prowess”

YES!!!! My hard work had paid off!!!!
I had cemented my position in the institute for the next summer as well. The training certificate was but obviously by far, the dearest to me.
I felt proud of myself. All those crappy thoughts occupying my mind had drowned in the tsunami of optimism and satisfaction.
Now I could step up to the world and with all the panache say – “THIS was my summer 2011!!!”  

Monday, 25 July 2011

tHE HeaLinG sPRinG

Nocturne evaded,
Mystery cleared,
Silence succumbed... my angel appeared!
Like a valkyrie
She swirls her magic and charm,
Her mellifluous attitude astounded me…
Yet… I was calm!
The connection between us,
Was uncanny… not manipulated
Yet all the moroseness in me
She emancipated.
When all my thoughts did shatter and scramble,
She held my hand
She made me ramble..
She cleared my way
Off grime and sand
Her presence makes it no less than
A journey… to the Neverland
She grimed all the damage…
 all the despoil,
she made me thrive over all the odds
Above all my turmoil.
I just wanna close my eyes…
And love you till dawn,
I don’t bother no matter
How many times I respawn.
I don’t bother if people do mock,
Because I know that
You will love me for all my lives to come
For all the miles ahead to walk
How much more happiness in my life will you bring???
You are more than life… you are
My eternal healing spring!!

Wednesday, 20 July 2011


The inconsistent turmoil that i've been through,
has led to the dismal attitude i have towards life,
these concurrent feelings that exercise in the mind,
can never conciliate the soul...puts me in a strife...
the round and oval water droplet that begins in the eyes,
the obnoxious feeling of getting dehydrated,
travels the cheeks...towards the chin...accompanied by a tickling sensation,
abandons the place from where it originated.
life would have been free of despair and resent,
free of embittering incidents if it was under control,
the elusive paradise and heaven that we search for,
would be the best place to pacify the agitated soul.....
the scorching heat outside, the sun shining with all it's might,
the fresh green trees..subdued to the direction of the wind,
the dark clouds gathering up in the north-western sky,
will soon give rise to the anger of the fiend.
lying down on the couch, i see the sky outside,
the ripples forming in the shallow pond beside..
"rain rain, come again"...little kids shout aloud,
helpless and succumbed to the pain...i lie down inside...
the linear pattern of the dark clouds in the sky,
reminds me of the linear life i've always led,
trapped inside the prison virtually, i could never let it all out,
i now let out my flows out crimson red....
memoirs of the past continue to haunt me down....
struggling and screaming, i'd once tried to fight it,
exhausted and breathless...i now lie down....crimson regret covers me all over...i close my was not worth it.....

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

A lOVe StoRy

It was a sultry afternoon, one in the month of june. The boy was trying his best to beat the heat, enjoying a cornetto in one hand and his cell phone on the other. He wasn’t over the line with someone, but was busy unveiling the unknown side of FACEBOOK in order to kill the state of boredom. As he was scrolling through ,what could then be termed as icons on his friend list, he came across ‘a long time UNCLIKED’ icon. He decided to click on the icon(the very fact that the icon led to the profile controlled by a SHE was one of the driving force of the click!). He ran his eyes through the well decorated profile and was eventually driven to the photo album of hers. Who on earth could probably guess that all these events would be actually penned down one day and be tagged as one of the most influential days of the boy’s life?!.....

The boy ‘patiently’(which was quite uncommon with him) scrolled through the photo comments which were successful enough in driving his MORONish thought process to a conclusion that this gal was a snob of the highest order.!As the boy himself was one with a reasonably high level of attitude, he decided to bully/irritate the gal with a few ‘ever notorious’ comments. The things went as intended and the gal found those comments to be irritating!...She was no less and thus dint hesitate in starting a quarrel with ‘the then‘ stranger. The boy left no stone unturned and commented on yet another pic of hers. But things turned out 2 be relatively smoother this time. Both the boy and the gal were drawn inside the world of ‘anime’ since quite some time n that paved the path 2 their friendship. Eventually both had been elevated above the ‘mere iconic’ standards to good friends!

The boy had a latent hobby of writing poems and stories(as the current script speaks of it). To his surprise the gal was into the same field too. The gal one day highly applauded for the status update which was a part of one of his poems. This led to the subsequent exchange of phone numbers and thus the gates to a new mode of communication between them were opened i.e. telephonic conversation. The boy instantly decide to drop in a call at the gals 10-digit identity(mobile no.) that evening itself.The evening phone call capsized the guys opinions about the gal upside down.
1) She wasn’t a SNOB.
2)She is an awesome person whose company demands respect
3) We both can share a great rapport.
Although the boy seemed to be pretty submissive during the first conversation, he was quite sure that the gal was kinda impressed.

They turned out to be pretty good friends within a couple of days. But surprisingly, none of them succeded in realising that they started chatting with each other 24x7 and their relation had reached a threshold which was miles ahead of mere friendship. They had an unconditional sense of caring and understanding for each other which was still unrecognised. They shared stuffs which they wouldn’t even share with close friends whose physical presence could atleast be felt. The boy understood every bit of turmoil the gal had faced in the long run coz he himself had to walk through the same road full of thorns once in his life.They had charachterized each other to such an extent that they ended up dedicating a virtual (quite real for both of them though) AVATAR for each other i.e yuki and tanaka.One could infact say a cute animated love story was in the making.  Days were awesome and evenings were pleasant for both of them as they shared each others company(however virtual) 24x7.
 But still one inevitable thought/feeling was stealthily sneaking its way under the carpet everytime they talked. The fact that both were growing closer day by day was left unnoticed everytime. Scenario was such that they could nomore be called as good pals.Feelings had started sprouting both sides….

One fine night , a series of ‘ever conventional’ questions ran through the boys mind…..
…….were some of the questions that constituted one third of his thought process that night.
The guy finally found an answer to the strange but obvious set of questions and said to himself…
LOOK!! BOTH OF US ARE MILES APART!!! LOVE WONT BE POSSIBLE AT AL!! SHE JUST CONSIDERS U AS A GOOD PAL!!!DATS IT!!!.....this very thought put an end to all the tedious thinking he had done that night and he finally slept.   
The next day was kick-started as usual. Routine morning calls and 24x7 exchange of words via THE FACEBOOK were in place. Obeying their domestic protocols they called off the chats during their daily meals which was however gobbled in both the sides so that they could feel each others textual presence as soon as possible. One big fact that hasn’t been disclosed so far is that the gal was a professional singer(p.s-the guy was aware of this). Amidst their talks a random topic was raised which eventually demanded the gal to flaunt her singing talent over the phone for the guy.
Till this very instant the guy sniffed nothing special about the day but little did he know that a major change was yet to take place before he called it a day. The gal sang….it was a heavenly feeling for the boy. Her mellifluous tone totally lured him away from the fact that they had known each other for just 5 days. He was confused. He was a big fan of kesha , beyonce and shakira but never had his hormones reacted in such a manner to any kind off audio input! He felt the adrenalin rushing through his blood. Perspiration was at its peak! He had made it clear…….HE WAS IN LOVE AND IT WAS THE RIGHT TIME TO CONVEY.!!

Despite the very fact that the gal was a performer, her nerves too failed to hold the nervousness. She was panting out of nervousness after the song as well. The guy conveyed the growing uneasiness his side that triggered the same kinda emotions the other side of the phone.The gal asked, “ WATS HAPPENING TO YOU!R U ALRIGHT??....U being NERVOUS IS MAKING ME FEEL THE SAME…..DONNO Y!!”…….It was almost for three hours that the boy had stopped his emotions from overflowing but it was high time now and he had to vent out his emotions….After all, he belonged to the species known for its emotional weaknesses i.e. homosapiens(human being!)…He forced his trembling finger to type the MAGICAL words and it was 9:17 p.m when the send button was pressed!! It took 3 minutes for the reply to arrive at the boy’s inbox and these 180 seconds seemed no less than a century!!! Reply was positive……The gal replied…”The feelings are the same here….no point lyin!!!”…..happiness was brimming on both sides of the TELEPHONE!! AND AS THE CLICHÉ IN INDIA DEMANDS ……” THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!”………….

Its strange that it took the internet ,two cell phones (and two souls of course) and 5 days for an unconventional yet true and intense love story!!!  

Monday, 18 July 2011


Its time
dat plays magical roles....
As it wills
it brings together poles.....
Its destiny
which makes life glorious....
But beware of it too
as it may make it more precarious.....
It has turned my life
upside down....
Its 4 ma good
i dont frown....
Its coz of destiny
with u i met....
it has changed my life
not nemore do i fret....
Ah the game of droughts
we play....
Like 2 distant pawns
we did stay.....
I went past u
u went past me
but nothin did furnish....
coz its dis strange game o destiny
never did v skirmish....
The journey has been magical
thus 4m my memory
it wont fade.....
Its coz i met u now
i happily serenade.....
Its coz of dis destiny
we came so close.....
Its den i realise
this is life
this aint a prose
and its dis destiny
that makes me smile....
coz i know i m not alone
in a distant isle....
This relation between us
noone can bar....
Coz we r so close
but yet 2 far......


I lay beyond
the merciless nature......
Helpless n weak
like a morose creature.....
I sit down
2 pen down ma story....
Its like that of a duke
deprived of any glory....
Its den i sense
a crimson butterfly
brush part ma ears....
With its divine wings
it did wipe ma tears....
I observe her
she performs a strange dance....
It pumps me up
i attain a pleasant stance...
Like the sweet nectar
on which she feeds.....
All the laws o nature
she didn't heed.....
She taught me 2 be
independent n free....
Even in turmoil
always do glee.....
I fell in love with her....
her imprint in ma heart
would never blur....
Clouds unfold
they plead 4 me
but i act ironical
its ma life
i don wanna give....
'Cos now i have
a reason 2 live....
She's a fairy
hailing from the sky....
She met me
as a crimson butterfly.....
Without her
my life would be a civil strife.....
But now shes here
the crimson butterfly....
the love of ma life.....
*this is dedicated to the crimson butterfly who enlightened ma life......Love ya 4eva.....*


Crouching silently
i make ma desperate calls....
i just wish to fly
beyond the cumbersome walls.....
I scream i shout
i simply plead
to revert the bout......
But nobody to say heed
i stand alone to scout
i wish no glory
i wish no fame.....
Its 'cos f them
dis instant i have to tame
need no mercy
i ain't a pauper
i just need strength
to rise above the mockers.....
I look 4 my idols
i wish to be at par......
but now m helpless
fate leaves a silent scar....
But still against the odds
i will rise.....
'Cos its my life
i will say the price......
U cant break ma dream
they r beyond your reach......
Just lemme go
that's all i preach......
U can make me cry.....
Or can give any amount of try....
My words may now sound
harsh n wry.....
but beware
i still wanna break free
n fly so high.....!!!